Have you ever had a loved one go away for a few months? Have you ever known the fear of: what if they never come back? What would your life be like? How would you go on with your life as usual? My son was gone for four months and it wasn’t easy. I eased the pain by not focusing on it. I eased the pain by writing letters to him, or hearing his voice on the phone, or chatting on Facebook. It lessened the loneliness; sure. But all the letters, calls, and chats did nothing to completely erase the ache in a mother’s heart of not having her family complete.
And forget about the holidays. Thanksgiving wasn’t all that much fun. Yes, I still had much to be thankful for, but the day didn’t have the same feel to it that it normally did. There was someone missing from the table. Missing them so badly in fact that we didn’t even sit at a table for dinner but in the living room, watching t.v. to bide our time. Bide our time until we saw him again. My younger son.
Now, we are a complete family unit once again. And this is one happy mama. To be able to hug him, and talk to him face to face again, to see him, to hear his voice and his laughter. It is a blessing to behold. And then it reminds me of all those out there in the world that do not have that opportunity to hug their loved ones. Those who won’t be home for the holiday, or ever again. That’s what frightens me. How would I deal with that if that ever happened to me? To my family?
I truly cannot fathom that emotion since I’ve never been through it. And quite honestly I never want to have to go through that ordeal. To those who have had that baptism by fire, I am truly sorry for your loss. I can never fully grasp the grief and heartache that you must live with each and every day. May you find peace. May you find comfort. My prayers go with you.