Just A Little Rant

So much of life these days is out of whack.  It’s gotten so bad that I don’t even want to turn on the news anymore in the mornings.  Sadly you hear about a mom getting shot, an innocent victim of gang violence, or a horrible fire with loss of young lives, or a fatal car crash because someone wasn’t paying attention.  Sickness, addictions, and suicides.  It’s all enough to make a person wonder what the point of life is.

Maybe I’m just the type of person who feels too much; gets overly emotional.  Bad stuff happens everyday.  A lot of unfortunate and tragic things happen to good, hard-working people who are just trying to make a living and take care of their families.  You hear about these tragedies and it causes you to shake your head and try to understand the point in all of it, if there is a point.

So many things just don’t make sense.  I understand that desperate people do desperate things.  Maybe we need to focus on helping each other out more.  And I’m talking about those people who actually need help.  The parent out of work due to no fault of their own, those who have serious illnesses, or contemplating suicide, and those struggling with addictions.  Get help.  Don’t struggle alone.  There are a lot of people in this country who are dealing with the same issues you are, or even those who have already overcome them.  No one should go through this life alone.  There’s way too much craziness to deal with.  We all need someone at our side.  You can volunteer your time, take a meal to a new mom, or to a family who is grieving due to a recent death in the family.  There are so many options.  Look on line under Volunteering in your community.  And it’ll make you feel good as well.  Taking the focus off of our own lives and putting it on another is like a shot of endorphin. You can feel great about knowing you are making a difference.

This life is a long and bumpy ride.

Mindless Rantings on Life

Are we living in a land of confusion?  When up is down, right is wrong, good is evil; can we ever get right-side up again?  The world is a terrifying place and especially, I imagine, for those who are alone.  When you have to fall asleep by yourself, and when you awake there is no one there beside you to kiss you good morning, it must not only be scary but depressing as well, at least to me when I was single.  But more on singleness below.

Isn’t that why most people are desperate to find a mate; to not have to go through this life alone?  Don’t get me wrong, you needn’t find someone to make yourself content, or happy, but I believe it is a warm fuzzy feeling to have that strength and comfort next to you in bed.  Or is it just me?

I like being married.  Okay, maybe I wasn’t originally planning on taking this post in this direction but now I feel led to.  Maybe you are happy and satisfied with your singleness, and that’s all well and good.  Some people enjoy that status.  There isn’t any judgment here; just like for those who rather not have children.  It’s cool.  It’s your choice.  It’s the status of being a widow or widower that breaks my heart.  I’ve known people who had to live with that; the loneliness, the sadness, the void that the surviving spouse must deal with.  All I can say is:  Hold on to those beautiful memories and embrace them, cherish them.  Don’t ever forget that person you loved so completely.  And onto the divorced; some may even feel that you are better off divorced; no chains to bind you, freedom to do whatever you want, go whenever you want.  Sometimes, yes, we marry the wrong person.  They presented themselves during the dating phase to be something other than what you discovered after marrying them.  Perhaps they have some horrible addiction, are abusive, a cheater, or whatever you want to fill in the blank with. And in that case, it is wiser to escape that cage.  (Or try counseling, if both parties agree.  There is always hope for the person to turn their life around).

But stretching that thought out, I think we all present ourselves differently in the dating phase.  Don’t we all love putting our best foot forward, our happy faces on?  Normally the person we are dating doesn’t get the opportunity to see us at our worst, do they?  We wouldn’t reveal that ugly side of ourselves in fear of running them off; screaming into the night.

Yes, that would be awkward, wouldn’t it?  Does this have anything to do with writing, you may ask?  Well, not really.  Sometimes I just enjoy writing out my thoughts because I love to write.  This is my outlet.  This is my stress reliever.

And having Asperger’s, sometimes my thoughts get a little jumbled, so please forgive me.  It can seem like a rant at times, like a deranged women’s viewpoint.  But trust me; I am pretty good at being sane. So here is my post for this week.  A little flighty perhaps, but it is also my birthday as well.  And I had a desire to write something on marriage and the pluses of the institution.  I love being married.  It is all about shared experiences; both good and bad.  It is about children, if you have any, and the joys and struggles of raising them.  It is cold feet, and warm hearts; corny jokes and laughter(even if mine sounds like a mix between snorting and a percolator); and shared hopes and dreams for the future; for you and your spouse.

So with that, I bid you a pleasant weekend, and a very safe and enjoyable Labor Day.  Man, I can’t believe summer is technically over with the arrival of Labor Day.  Summer always seems to fly on by for me.  Well, love to you all, my readers.  Until next time; happy writing.

Eva

 

A New Year, a new you

Throughout the year, amidst the myriad of challenges, we anticipate the winter holidays, and then before we know it, they’re over, leaving us to marvel at where the time went.  And with a whoosh, in rushes the new year.  We determine to make resolutions; promises to ourselves.  Be a better person.  To love others more deeply.  Work harder.  Learn a new skill which you have been itching to do your whole life.  Lose weight.  Work out more, or even to begin a exercise regiment.  We seek ways for self-improvement.  Some we wind up sticking with while others are quickly tossed to the side.

Gazing into a mirror, we try to summarize the events of the recent past.  What we did wrong.  What we did right.  Those we may have inadvertently offended.  Those we may have encouraged along the way.  We are filled with hopes and fears of what the new year may throw at us; either a raining down of blessings or a crashing head-long into heartache.

Nobody, we understand, can accurately see into the future, though there are a few that insist they can.  If it were possible to project ourselves to December 31, 2015, what would we encounter?  Would we discover a life that had been more fruitful, or one that was awash with pain?

I, for one, do not wish to see what the future holds for me, for we know that our lives are filled with hope-filled moments and shattered dreams, triumphs and disappointments.  What type of person you are determines how well you deal with these issues, when life turns itself upside down.  It’s easy to be joyful and happy when life is at it’s best, but when life bombards you with painful moments when we least expect them, it is almost impossible to keep smiling through the tears.

I believe we need to embrace the beauty that surrounds us.  We need to forgive others for the wounds they have caused us.  Not only does forgiveness fill us with peace of mind, it protects our sanity as well.  And holding grudges is bad for your health, or so I’ve read.  It is cancer to your soul.

So in this coming new year, I implore you to take time to enjoy the little things in life we often take for granted:  watching the sun rise, hiking through a blooming meadow bursting with color, to immerse yourself in a good book, drink a glass of fine wine, bask in the warmth of a sunny July day, or just spending quality time with those you hold dearest.

Don’t lose sleep over the things we can’t change, or worry about things that will most likely not happen.  I am guilty of that myself.  Give up bad habits and embrace healthier ones.  Even small changes like going for a daily walk can do wonders for the body, not to mention the soul.

Here’s wishing you all, my friends, a very healthy, safe, and joy-filled New Year.  In addition, may it be filled with good memories, an abundance of love, and peace; and may sorrows be subtracted.  Blessings.

Everyone’s Back Home Once Again.

Have you ever had a loved one go away for a few months?  Have you ever known the fear of:  what if they never come back?  What would your life be like?  How would you go on with your life as usual?  My son was gone for four months and it wasn’t easy.  I eased the pain by not focusing on it.  I eased the pain by writing letters to him, or hearing his voice on the phone, or chatting on Facebook.  It lessened the loneliness; sure.  But all the letters, calls, and chats did nothing to completely erase the ache in a mother’s heart of not having her family complete.

And forget about the holidays.  Thanksgiving wasn’t all that much fun.  Yes, I still had much to be thankful for, but the day didn’t have the same feel to it that it normally did.  There was someone missing from the table.  Missing them so badly in fact that we didn’t even sit at a table for dinner but in the living room, watching t.v. to bide our time.  Bide our time until we saw him again.  My younger son.

Now, we are a complete family unit once again.  And this is one happy mama.  To be able to hug him, and talk to  him face to face again, to see him, to hear his voice and his laughter.  It is a blessing to behold.  And then it reminds me of all those out there in the world that do not have that opportunity to hug their loved ones.  Those who won’t be home for the holiday, or ever again.  That’s what frightens me.  How would I deal with that if that ever happened to me?  To my family?

I truly cannot fathom that emotion since I’ve never been through it.  And quite honestly I never want to have to go through that ordeal.  To those who have had that baptism by fire, I am truly sorry for your loss.  I can never fully grasp the grief and heartache that you must live with each and every day.  May you find peace.  May you find comfort.  My prayers go with you.

The Christmas Holiday Season is Upon Us

Okay, I’m going to share a bit of my views about the holiday season in this post. I need to begin by saying that I think people, in general, go overboard during this time of year. They stress themselves out by trying to find that special someone that perfect gift. Or they are rushing around to various functions just to keep up appearances. They overdose on holiday music played everywhere. And they wind up burned out and never get to fully appreciated what this time of year is all about.

Christmas, in my eyes, is the birth of Jesus. God’s perfect gift to humanity, wrapped in flesh, and given without asking for anything in return. To me, it is the greatest gift ever given. As we bedeck our homes, inside and out, with multi-colored lights and trees, inflatable Santas and reindeer, and covet precious handmade ornaments made by our children, we tend to overemphasis the trivial and forget about the true meaning. The light in children’s eyes, the wonder and the joy that glimmers within. Spending time with loved ones. Just sitting around a toasty fire, sipping on cider, eggnog, or a hot chocolate and sharing fond memories of Christmas’s past, gives one pause.

And we are not to forget those who are struggling this time of year. Those who have recently lost a loved one, or are hurting financially, or have gone through some sort of traumatic event. We need to let them know that they have not been forgotten and that you are there for them with a willing shoulder to cry on. Not everyone sees this time of year as festive and merry. This time of year can fill many with a sense of dread and depression. Let us lift those hurting ones up and help them through this season.

It’s not about what you’re getting for Christmas, or how many brightly wrapped packages are yours underneath the Christmas Tree. As a child I used to crawl around under our tree and discover how many had my name on the gift tag. Yes, it is exciting for children to receive requested toys. I understand that. But there comes a time when we need to explain to our children that the meaning of Christmas is more than what they receive, but what they get out of this time of year, surrounded by loving family, making their own fond memories to embrace in the future.