The Christmas Holiday Season is Upon Us

Okay, I’m going to share a bit of my views about the holiday season in this post. I need to begin by saying that I think people, in general, go overboard during this time of year. They stress themselves out by trying to find that special someone that perfect gift. Or they are rushing around to various functions just to keep up appearances. They overdose on holiday music played everywhere. And they wind up burned out and never get to fully appreciated what this time of year is all about.

Christmas, in my eyes, is the birth of Jesus. God’s perfect gift to humanity, wrapped in flesh, and given without asking for anything in return. To me, it is the greatest gift ever given. As we bedeck our homes, inside and out, with multi-colored lights and trees, inflatable Santas and reindeer, and covet precious handmade ornaments made by our children, we tend to overemphasis the trivial and forget about the true meaning. The light in children’s eyes, the wonder and the joy that glimmers within. Spending time with loved ones. Just sitting around a toasty fire, sipping on cider, eggnog, or a hot chocolate and sharing fond memories of Christmas’s past, gives one pause.

And we are not to forget those who are struggling this time of year. Those who have recently lost a loved one, or are hurting financially, or have gone through some sort of traumatic event. We need to let them know that they have not been forgotten and that you are there for them with a willing shoulder to cry on. Not everyone sees this time of year as festive and merry. This time of year can fill many with a sense of dread and depression. Let us lift those hurting ones up and help them through this season.

It’s not about what you’re getting for Christmas, or how many brightly wrapped packages are yours underneath the Christmas Tree. As a child I used to crawl around under our tree and discover how many had my name on the gift tag. Yes, it is exciting for children to receive requested toys. I understand that. But there comes a time when we need to explain to our children that the meaning of Christmas is more than what they receive, but what they get out of this time of year, surrounded by loving family, making their own fond memories to embrace in the future.

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A New Way of Looking at Things

Okay, continuing on from my last post, I am most certainly sure that I have Asperger’s.  Yes.  It’s undiagnosed, but reading all the info about it, I match almost 100% of the traits, etc.  One of my sons has it, and I know now, without a doubt, that I too have the Syndrome.  No big deal to me.  I am jut elated to discover after all these years, I’ll be 50 this year, that the way that I look at things is not weird or bizarre, but my normal.

I look at how I related to other people, how I prefered my own company to that of others.  I liked playing with boys and hanging around them instead of other girls.  I never was into the ‘girlie’ stuff, like makeup and dressing up.  I hate jewelry, flowers, and all of those other “Hallmark Holiday”.  Knowing that my husband loves me 365 days of the year means that we do not need special days to for him to tell me that.  Flowers die, chocolate adds inches to my hips, and jewelry to me is a big waste of money.  Okay, I’ll stop.

I now can move on and enjoy the rest of my life, however long that may still be.  When I act different, I’ll know and understand the why of it all.  If people don’t like me now, it’s their problem, not mine.  Unless, of course, I’ve done something to cause their dislike.  Wow.  A dark cloud lifted, a heavy blanket removed, and a light going on inside of me.  That’s what this discovery has done for me.  After years of depression, and suicidal thoughts and attempts, and just a deep gut-wrenching sorrow of wondering why people didn’t seem to like me, is over.  I have been set free.  And, damn, it feels wonderful!

Now I can go on writing on the topics that I enjoy writing about without wondering why I am so attracted to those story lines.  I can go on reading those books that I enjoy so much without wondering why I love this genre so dearly.  Ah, the freedom to be yourself.  I always knew that I didn’t want to be like other people.  I’ve always rejected that way of doing things.  If people want to be friends, all well and good, but I’ve decided that I am no longer going to play at being normal.  I will now live life as I was created to be.  A very unique and sometimes strange individual.  And that’s okay too.  Trying to fit a certain mold is draining.  So tiring.  I can like me and be happy with the way that I am.

So, have a wonderful week everyone.  Hope that you find some joy in reading my posts.  And I do truly appreciate everyone who takes time out of their busy day to read what I write.  It definitely means a lot to me.  Writing is my lifelong dream and goal of being officially published someday.  God bless and stay safe out there.  We know it’s a crazy world out there.  Peace.

The People You Miss

This post will be pretty short this week.  I haven’t written anything for over two weeks now and just wanted to share a quick thought with you all.  Do you have anyone in your life that you miss?  I’m not talking about someone you loved who had died, but someone who used to be in your life and now isn’t any longer.

I have such a person.  She is a cousin of mine.  We used to do a lot of fun things together.  Share secrets.  Be each other’s best friend. Hang out.  Talk up a storm.  Just have fun together.  We’re the same age.   My mother and her mother are sisters.  I really miss her to the point of tears.

We also got in trouble together.  One time, we were teens and started smoking.  Back when we were teens we still could buy cigarettes in our neighborhood from a vending machine.  It seemed like a cool thing to do, to us at that age(I think it was sixteen).  But we got busted by our parents and lectured about the dangers of cigarette smoking.  We, of course, let it go in one ear and out the other.

As time went on, we began to drift apart.  She grew up in Chicago’s Ravenswood neighborhood, but around seventh or eighth grade her and her family moved out to the Northwest suburbs.  She was quiet and I was still the more outgoing one.  But as time went on, she made other friends and, well, we started living separate lives.  She made a close friend in the area and I had one myself who I’ve known since the sixth grade.

But then we graduated, started dating, and put even more distance between our friendship.  It pained me perhaps more so than it did her.  But I don’t really know.  She fell in love with one of my brother’s friends and I felt alone and abandoned.  Now, they are in Texas and do not wish further contact with any of the family.  And that hurts deeply.  When you had someone in your life that you treasured so dearly and now they no longer wish to know you exist, it tears one up inside.

Okay, that’s my story.  Barb, you have always been my very dearest friend, and I’m sorry we no longer communicate, talk, write, whatever we do nowadays.  It’s been many years but I still feel the sting of your rejection.  But I hope that you’re happy and content with the life you chose and are now living.  Love to you always.

Eva

Being There

Life comes at us fast.  One day everything seems normal, and the next moment hell can be breaking loose in our lives.  We can suddenly lose our job, our home, our spouse, our health…so many unexpected misfortune can bombard us at any given moment.  Scary.  But life was never meant to be soldiered on alone.  We need other people in our lives to help us get by.  Wasn’t it the Beatles who said something about getting by with a little help from our friends?  Sometimes it’s hard, though, to ask for any help.  In this computer age we seem to be drawer further and further apart from each other.

Back in the ‘old days’, families lived close by each other, or many times in the same house, or apartment building.  That’s what my parents did when my siblings and I were little. Help was basically around the corner or right downstairs.

But now we have distanced ourselves.  Almost as though we are each living in our own separate cocoon.  We may not think that we need other people.  We have been taught to be self-sufficient, independent, and self-reliant.  Then explain to me why there is such a raging amount of stress, and depression, and loneliness in this country.  I say we need to keep in close contact with those we love.  They can help keep us sane.  From going off the deep end!  I’ve personally gone through a lot of struggles in my past.  I thought that I could do it on my own.  But I was wrong.

Even doing a kindness for a complete stranger is in a way being there for them.  I held the door for a lady this morning at a local bookstore this morning and the first thing she started to say was, “Oh no” but was gracious enough to allow me.  Then she in turn held the next door for me and wished me a good day and I the same for her.  See?  That wasn’t so hard now was it?  Love others.  They need it so desperately.  People are hurting so much from being away from loved ones, from familiar surroundings, from life as they once knew it.  I don’t think people want to live in shells or cocoons.  They want to be free to express themselves as they are.  People do need people.

So what I guess I’m trying to say is, be good to one another.  Life is precious.  It is short, sometimes shorter than what we expected, either for ourselves or for those we love.  Tell them often that you love them.  Don’t wait to tell those whom you care about what they mean to you. Tomorrow may be too late.