A Very Simple Life

I’m a very simple person.  I am low-maintenance, and probably have the mind of a child at times.  I’m easily amused as well. I laugh easily.  I love deeply, and feel others pain deeply as well.  I hate watching people argue on talk shows; makes my heart race as though they were yelling at me personally.  Not normal.  Or is it for someone like me; introverted and an Aspie.

I collect serious things, like angel figurines; and silly things like Minions.  I have Minions coffee mugs, stuffed ones, Christmas ornaments, plastic pencil cases, t-shirts, and even a pair of pajamas with the cute little guys gracing them all over.

I enjoy reading, but don’t get to as often as I’d like anymore.  My eyes are getting worse as I age.  Thank God for dollar reading glasses at Dollar Tree.  I wish I could carry a tune but I couldn’t sing to save my life; seriously.  My husband tells me not to sing whenever I attempt to.  I love Christmas carols and I don’t care if it sounds like a pack of wild dogs howling in the night, I love music.  I especially am fond of Country Music as I grow older.  Chris Young is one of my favorites.  Maybe someday I will get the chance to see him in concert.

I’m a Christian, but unfortunately  not as good as I’d like to be.  I have many faults.  One big one is I have a deep-seated fear of things going wrong in my life.  I believe that God watches over me and keeps me safe, but I still worry way too much.  I hate failure.  Then again, I think most people do as well.  I want to be a published writer, and I don’t even care if I can’t make a living out of it.  I am happiest when writing.  I lose track of time as words fly across the screen.  And being content and happy with your lot in life is serious business.

Life is too short to worry over the small things.  I try to live a simple life.  I shop at thrift stores, which I have no problem with because I love the items that I find there.  I am content to sit in my rocking chair here in my writing room while reading a good books while sipping a cup or two of Dunkin Donuts French Vanilla coffee; home-brewed of course.

I am content to watch the sunrise on a summer day, or sit at the beach watching everyone enjoying themselves.  I can even enjoy sifting dirt through my fingers while working in my garden, relishing the feel of the warm soil.  I am a simple person because I can sit back and love others even if we do not agree on issues.  Again, life is too short to fight because one person thinks differently than someone else.  Love, in my book, always wins out.

I’m a simple person because as I look around at my writing room and see the things that make me happiest; my books, Minions collection, and I forgot about my snowmen collection(stuffed and figurines), my scented candles, my houseplants; all these things bring joy into my heart.  And I wouldn’t want to change anything.  I am happiest when I can sit back and take in life in small bite-sized pieces.  I don’t want to swallow my experiences whole, but savor them.  I’m a simple person, and I don’t care anymore who knows it.

Until next time.

Confession

Confession.  The word alone conjures up images of a darkened booth with a priest sitting on the other side of a window-type screen; filled with hushed tones and shame.

Why are we so afraid to go bold with confessing our sins when we already know that by doing so will allow that particular burden to be lifted off of our shoulders?

Do we believe for an instant that we are capable of hiding our sins from an all-knowing and an all-seeing Creator?

There’s quite a bit of shame involved, I understand.  I’ve been there.  We strive to do our very best to please God but often those attempts fall flat and we fail miserably.

But guess what?  He still loves us regardless of our numerous shortcomings.  That is what a loving God does!  How awesome is that!  So go boldly before the throne.

1 John 1:9 explains it clearly, “If we confess our sins, He  is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Now that is some great news, my friends!

 

 

 

 

When God is Silent

All my life I’ve been clinging to the hope of God and His existence.  Deep down I am fully aware that there is something greater than myself; than all of us; alive and in control of this infinite universe.  Death has had its fair grip on me for decades; what will it be like, how much pain, and will I still exist afterwards?  I believe in a God that is omnipotent and unending.  As a child I’d play church(not too many kids out there playing church, I imagine).  We had this half-shell knick knack with Jesus on the cross attached to it and I’d put water in the shell and pretend it was holy water, dabbing it onto my forehead just like I saw my parents and others do in the Catholic church we attended.

Having Aspergers, I just felt closer to the existence of some higher power; something or someone I could look up to and have a sense of peace over.  I’ve read somewhere women with Aspergers have a unique pull to the divine.  I have a thirst for Truth, to know wrong from right, to understand others and what they are going through.  I want to grasp why some people are good and others are seen as evil.  What turns a person from light to darkness?  What snaps inside?

Peace within is a blessing.  But when we seek answers from an almighty Being, we expect answers, and fast.  We don’t want to wait.  From experience there were, and still are, frustrating circumstances in my life that needle the flesh.  Why does this person act this way?  Why don’t I feel closer to the ones I love?  Why do I keep getting rejected in places that preach about love and acceptance?  My ear is attuned to his anticipated reply.  But I cannot sense any forthcoming. Then the fear and doubts set in.  Is God truly out there?  Does he even care about me and my concerns?  Now I’m drawing into myself again.  I’m screaming within, Help me, God!  Why aren’t you listening?  Do you even love me?

As a believer, fear of God no longer loving you is like a baseball bat to the face.  It’s like trying to breathe underwater.  Crying helps, a bit.  But after the tears, the cursing(yes, the cursing), the pleading, I can take a deep breath and refocus.  Peace surrounds me once again.  God isn’t intimidated by your little outbursts.  He knows you intimately since he created you.  His love for you is eternal.  When God is silent, I believe he is testing us and our faith.  Do we trust in him or not?  He swoops in to rescue us and our dwindling faith.

He is good and merciful to his children, and knows us all by name.  God has not abandoned you but continually longs to have a place in our hearts and thoughts.  Talk to him today.  He is waiting.