The Business of Fear

I went to a business expo this afternoon with my husband.  You know, one of those expos a city has to bring businesses and consumers together to arrange some sort of happy union.  When my boys were younger, we would always load up on the free candy and pencils the various booths provided.  Now, my husband and I do a pretty quick walk through to check out the various offerings in the area; the free chiropractic checks, free neck massages, the vendors hawking their wares.  Occasionally we’ll find a good business reference to do work on the house my husband says needs repairing.  We’ve had people who called relatively quickly to set up an appointment to do a bid; other times no calls are received at all.

But this post isn’t about business; it’s about going to an open place when one has Aspergers.  I can’t tell you how hard it is for me to go to these.  Well, I’m going to try anyway.  The sights, noise, bright lights, and crowds are enough to make me want to curl up into a ball and hide.  I’ve always wondered why I had done poorly in crowds but I’ve discovered it is due to the over-stimulation of so many things going on all at once.  And throw in being an introvert and you’ve got a messy situation.

Why then, you may ask, do I go to these?  Okay, besides being a masochist(creepy) I actually enjoy seeing the different offerings that businesses provide.  Plus I like pushing myself to do things I don’t always enjoy and helps in my writing experience.  Just being out in the world surrounded by other people is an experience, trust me.

So I’ve discovered some triggers that push me over the edge.  Now to learn to live with and accept my inner fears while moving forward with my life.

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