Change in Direction

Okay, I’ve decided to go in a new direction with my posts.  I’ve written before about me having diagnosed myself as having Asperger’s.  I’ve decided I didn’t need someone ‘professional’ telling me what I’ve known for years was wrong with me.  And since there isn’t even an official test to determine whether or not someone has Asperger’s, I’ve read enough about traits in women enough to know that, yes, that definitely describes me. 

So I am taking this blog in that direction.  And how my life revolves around having Asperger’s and some very strange and neurotic things I am guilty of having done in the past that screams, ‘Wait!  This isn’t normal for someone your age!’.  So yes, I am putting myself out there and come whatever humiliation or embarrassment it might bring down upon my lovely little head, I will be open and honest.  Perhaps a bit too open and honest. 

So, here goes.  I have always been different.  In so many different ways.  My mother has told me that I was slow to begin talking, and that she never thought that I would, and then when I did, I wouldn’t stop!  Okay, and I’m left-handed.  Okay, that has nothing to do with it besides that fact that my dear, sainted mother used to bind up my left hand, so I would be forced to use my right hand.  I, being the wonderful genius that I was, and still am (well, not really), I would just unbind my left hand and go about my merry way!

Now, for a bit of embarrassment and utter openness about my past life(or, what normal people call, the early years).  Do you remember that adorable little alien called, E.T.?  Well, I surely do.  And I loved that little guy so much!  To the point that I watched that movie countless times and cried every time that little booger died.  And even more tears when he came back to life!  Oh the endless joy!  Well, let’s just say I had a rather unhealthy obsession with the little guy.  I had a stuffed E.T.  Remember them?  So cute, and soft, and ever so cuddly!  Here’s the sad part and how I know now that I had/have some disorder.  I treated that crazy thing like it was a baby!  I tucked it into bed next to me, spoke to it like a baby!  And guess the next sad, pathetic, and maybe cute part of the story:  I was nineteen! 

See?  Open and honest enough for you all?  That is not a ‘normal’ thing for a nineteen year old woman to be doing!  Oh, dear friends, I have  a lot of sharing to do with you all.  But I’ll just give you little bites here and there.  I wouldn’t want to stuff you full with all of my delightful foibles all at once!  Oh no!   Oh the wonderful tales I’ll share!  All my dark, little secrets.  All of my craziness.  All of my insanity.  Wait, is that the same thing or not? 

Til next time, I hope that you’ll enjoy snickering about my weirdness.  It brings joy to my heart to be able to add a chuckle to your day.  Even if that chuckle is at my expense.  No problem.  I am well aware of the absurdity of this bluntness and whether I am gaining anything from this or not.  Well, I am gaining writing time and a fresh awareness of who I truly am.  Love to you all.  


5 thoughts on “Change in Direction

  1. Don’t beat yourself up about it; if something makes you happy and isn’t harming anyone, there’s no need to be embarrassed. 🙂
    I have Asperger’s too, (that’s what my blog is about) so I know what it’s like. I try to focus as much as possible on the positives, I recently wrote an article about the upsides:
    Wishing you all the best with your exploration of your Asperger’s! 🙂

    PS: I too cried like a baby through ET’s death and revival, even at 24. XD

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