This is my first endeavor into the wonderful and exciting world of NaNoWriMo. I’m four days into it and have completed my word count each day so far. I’m up to 6,919 words. But I am questioning my novel idea. I am beginning to hate my two main characters. Their personalities have gotten away from me. They’re jerks. Normally I try to keep my characters positive and people-friendly. But not these two young men. They are both alcoholics. One worse than the other. Sex-craved, chauvinistic, chest-pounding a-holes. How did I lose control of them? Is this a good thing to allow your creative juices to run away with itself?
But I know this contest is only for a rough draft, and this work is definitely rough. In more ways than one. I have added a lot of swearing and sex. These are two young men who grew up in abusive homes. In trouble since elementary school. Into heavy-metal. Struggling to find jobs, and then trying to hold on to them. I want to make them as realistic as possible, but being a female trying to delve into the male mind, it’s not an easy task. But with this challenge, I wanted to go outside of my comfort zone. I needed to do something different. Something off-color. Something that wasn’t a romance. Those would be easier to write, being a woman with a big imagination, and a love of anything romantic.
So, four days into it, and not struggling…yet. I’ve been warned. It’s coming. The doubts. The boredom. The fretting. The damn-I-don’t-feel-like-writing-today days. But this is why I write. It is not to be in the spotlight. It’s no longer about achieving the fame and fortune, but about just making a decent living while writing and the extra income it could bring in. Would I love to be a full-time writer? Yes. More than anything, I would. But I’ve learned something by reading a lot of blog posts, and writing sites that I write because I want to. Not for fame, not for glory, not for the money, but because I just plain love putting words to paper, or to screen, in a lot of cases nowadays. I’ve mentioned this before, but it is in my blood. Since I was a child, I had this intense desire to create. I’ve tried other creative endeavors which I’ve failed miserably at: painting, drawing, sewing, knitting, crafts…just don’t have it in me, though that talent does run in my family(somehow it just missed me). But writing, creative writing, having the ability to create characters, and settings, and stories that can last throughout the generations. I just want to write. No. I need to write. There is no inner peace when I’m not writing. I crave that peace, that serenity when I’m creating a new world. It’s about the desire to share new and interesting heroes and villains, about describing the fight between good and evil, and that, in the end, I want to have my characters make a difference, in their lives as well as the readers’ lives. Is that too much to ask?
So, each day will be a challenge. To what extent, I have no idea yet. To all those writing day after day, with the same fire in their souls that burns within mine, I wish you continued success. Take it one day at a time. Writing should never be a chore. For when it becomes that, the fire slowly diminishes and begins to burn out. Don’t allow that flame to blow out. You can do this. You have the creativity, the drive, and the passion to create. Let it take you to places in the imagination that you never thought you’d go to. Achieve your writing dreams. I know I am. For this is a challenge to myself to say, I can write 50,000 words in 30 days. And if I can do that, then there is no excuse for me not getting a short story out in that time. A little push never hurt anyone.
Until next time, friends, happy writing.