Feeling Down

Maybe it’s the shorter days, but I am feeling the blues.  The cold seasonal weather is slowly seeping into my corner of the Midwest and I don’t like it.  I’m not crazy about cold or snow.  Never really have been.  I just feel down. 

Last night I was feeling sorry for myself.  I thought about how my life is just slipping away, day after day of doing nothing of great importance.  I never wanted to waste my life but that is what I feel is happening.  I want to live a life of significance.  I want to make a difference in this world. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love my family.  I am truly blessed by God.  I have so many wonderful people in my life.  But do you ever feel that something is missing?  Something that is gnawing away about your conscience?  Something whispering in your ear that you are not doing enough?  That all you are doing is floating through life without any real purpose or meaning?  That is how I’m feeling.

I’m not asking for fame or fortune.  I not want to be featured on TMZ or The Soup.  I want to know that when I die, that I have contributed something solid to someone else’s life.  That someone else’s life is better off because I was there for them.

I have probably gone this route before, with the desire to make a difference to someone, to be someone’s lifeline.  To know that I have fulfilled my Christian destiny to be a beacon of light to someone struggling in the choppy and dangerous water of this world.  I want to change the world for the better.  I want to see an end to child abuse; to see an end to childhood diseases that takes a young boy or girl away from their parents.  I don’t want to see another mom or dad having to bury their child and to grieve that loss for the rest of their lives.  I want to see an end to all of this world’s atrocities.  I know, people have a difficult time of getting along with each other.  A lot of times it is within the walls of their own home. 

I just want to show the love I have bottled up inside of me.  To let others know how much they are cared about and loved.  That even at their lowest moments, that they would somehow realize that there is someone out there who cares.  And if they can’t find that someone in their own family or circle of friends, I want them to know that Jesus is there for them.  That He loves unconditionally.  There is always hope.  There is always love.  Love never loses.  Maybe I’m just a dreamer.  Maybe I need to come down to reality.  But I believe in people.  I don’t want to become cynical about the things I see on the news each day.  I want to still believe that there is much good still going on in this world.  That as human beings we can turn this mess around. 

Okay, I’ve gone on longer than I first planned.  But once I got going, I couldn’t stop.  So friends, let’s love each other that way God designed us to.  Hold the door open for someone.  Smile at a stranger.  Write a note to a friend.  Visit an elderly person in a nursing home.  Be the difference.  Be that light to someone who is slowly drowning in darkness.  That’s what I want to be.  Hold me accountable.  I don’t want to become bitter or apathetic.  I want to be who God intended me to be the moment I came screaming into this world, until the moment He calls me back home.  God bless you all.

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