Waiting

So here I am, waiting.  Waiting for all my background and driving checks to come back to my new job so they can make sure that I am safe.  Safe to enter into a stranger’s home and provide care for them.  I’m waiting.

I have been busy reading my training guides and learning online different ways to help seniors.  I’ve also been contemplating whether to go to college and get my nurse’s assistant certification.  My husband says I should wait and see if I actually like the job first before I commit to schooling.  I know that he’s right but I just want to jump right in and get it done. 

I’m looking forward to helping someone.  I’ve always felt called to help others and here is my chance.  A chance to make a difference in someone else’s life.  I hope and pray that I will do a good job for my clients and that they like me.  It’s important to me that we can bond.  But with that bond comes the heartache when that senior passes on. 

I’m ready, though, to begin this new chapter in my life.  Pray for me for wisdom and for strength and patience.  Just have to wait and see when I am called up to serve a client.  Waiting is hard.

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How To Start Your Day Right

Do you ever have one of those mornings that you want so desperately to wake  up early and spend time with the Lord, but decide to sleep in instead?  I’ve had too many of those lately.  My desire is to wake up early and read a few devotionals from my collection, and ponder the goodness and mercy of God.  But I have such a hard time with this and I’m not sure why.  I start out well.  There are days, weeks, and sometimes months that I rise faithfully each morning while the house is still quiet, my dog at my feet, and devour God’s promises to me.  I’m hungry for them.  I need His word to refresh me  each morning before I go out into the world and face what is out there, both good and bad. 

But too many times I am lazy.  I say, “I’ll do them later.” or “I’ll start again tomorrow.”  But those are only excuses.  I believe firmly that without daily digging into the Word, we as Christians will not have an easy go of life.  We need His strength to see us through each day, with all of its many challenges and joys, struggles and heartaches.  We need to keep our eyes on Christ.  I know from past experience that if I do not spend time with Him that my days are hectic and I am so out of breath, and weary by day’s end, that I want to hang my head and weep.  Life is so hard.  Yes.  We may have our friends and family there by our side, but I still know in my heart that without Christ’s constant guiding, we will be tossed about on life’s turbulent seas. 

He is good.  He will never leave us nor forsake us.  He is our Rock and our Strength.  Christ is Lord and He loves us more than we can even think or imagine.  It is mind-boggling.  But I am thankful to have an opportunity to worship Him freely and to have a library full of Christian literature.  There are too many other countries that are oppressed and lack even a Bible in their own language. 

So tomorrow morning, I will rise up, put on a pot of coffee, read through a Psalm to praise His name and His goodness to me and my family.  I will read through three or four devotional readings for the day, jotting down notes(a habit of mine) and enjoy the solitude of the early morning.  Then it’s off into this big scary world.  But I have His protection round about me.  I will put on the full armor of God.  It’s always good to know that my best friend has got my back.

Beginning Of A New Adventure

Okay, I’m pretty excited that I am beginning a new job next week as an in home caregiver for seniors.  I have always enjoyed the company of the elderly.  I delivered Meals-on-Meals in the past and developed some friendships with a few of the ladies, back when my kids were small.  They were very sweet and fun to listen to their stories. 

I think it is sad that too often seniors are taken advantage of when they are cared for by strangers, and possibly by family members too.  I’ve seen it in the news and in the papers how that happens.  They steal money from them, or their credit card info., and sometimes the seniors even pay with their lives.  It tears me up that a large portion of our population, fragile as they are, is taken advantage of.  People scam them over the phone, or come to their homes disguised as contractors, or from the utility company, etc..  And then they are out of a lot of money. 

So I am looking forward to being of great assistance to someone who wants to stay in their home as long as possible.  They should be able to stay in their homes if they are capable of being alone.  I want them to be safe.  I want them to enjoy whatever years that God has given to them.  I look forward to being a blessing to someone, to share my gift of compassion with another.  I am blessed and so thankful for this opportunity.  I’ll keep everyone posted on how the job goes.  Til next time, God bless and stay safe.

Another Summer Is Over

Well, I can’t say that I am a ‘summer’ person, but my heart does ache a bit when the sun begins to shine less brightly, and the windows have to be closed in the house because it gets too cold at night.  I love the changing colors of the leaves on the trees, but once they begin falling off of the trees and all that left of naked branches, that makes me sad.  I do not like weather extremes.  Not crazy about extreme heat or cold.  Would love to move down South where it is warm almost all year round.  Tennessee or Texas sound like two good choices to me. 

So here we are, stuck in the Midwest, with another winter season rolling in.  Okay, granted it is nice to have a little bit of snow, and I do emphasis little bit, around Christmas.  As it falls softly to the ground blanketing everything in a coat of white, I don’t mind if I’m sitting with my family, hot chocolate in hand, and feeling snug and content.  But having to drive in it is another story, of course.  But enough of me complaining.  Are there any others like me out there who are not found of the winter season? 

Yes, there a lot of people who enjoy skiing, snowmobiling, sledding, skating, and I can’t forget ice fishing.  I live near a lake and every winter I see them out there and for the life of me I cannot figure out how that is fun.  Sitting out in the cold, perhaps having a few beers, and waiting for the fish to bite just doesn’t seem like a very exciting way to spend a day out with the kids.  Where the bathroom?  That’s what I’d be asking after sitting out in the cold for a half hour.  Do you ice fish?  If so, please please please let me know what you are doing inside on of those little huts or why you would sit out on the ice on a plastic bucket for hours on end?  And how can you tell if the ice is still thick enough to hold all the weight of the ice fisherman? 

Well, anyway, I guess as long as I’m a Midwest gal I have to keep dealing with the sliding,and the shoveling, the cold cold hands and the heavy boots and jackets.  At least I have Springtime to look forward to.  And when it is 20 something degrees out and there’s about a foot of snow on the ground, believe you me I am sooo desperately waiting on Spring. 

Oh What A Beautiful Day!

There are few things more enjoyable in October than  to have a long stretch of sunny and warm summer days.  Ah.  Being able to hang the laundry outside to dry in the breeze, coming back inside all fresh smelling.  I can sit outside in a t-shirt and comfortably bask in the sun.  I figure I might as well get as much of this goodness that I possibly can before the much cooler weather sweeps in from the North. 

You see, I am not a cold-weather person.  As I am getting older, my bones protest the cold weather in the mornings when I first get out of bed.  Popping and cracking, they are weary from the stiffness that sets in overnight while I sleep.  That is why Spring and Fall are my two favorite seasons.  One, because Spring is the earth’s rebirth from the taking of a three-month long nap, and nature comes back alive so wonderfully and colorfully.  And two, Fall is when the leaves change colors on the trees and the weather is cooler and great for sleeping at night.    And to me Fall is God’s way of saying, ‘Don’t worry.  Everything will come back in the Spring.  It’s not the end.’

So I sit outside, relishing the sun’s warmth on my skin.  I have my feet up on a small side table, while sipping my favorite tea, Snapple Peach, with a paperback book in hand(what?  A paperback you say?  What, pray tell, is that?)  I love to read outside while sipping my drink and just taking the time to enjoy this life that God has blessed me with.  No cares in the world to think about, only about the lives of the characters in the book.  I am swept away into another world, temporarily, until the timer goes off and it’s back inside to prepare dinner.  Sigh.  Back to the grind.  Back to the real world.  Well, at least tomorrow is another day.  I’m just praying it’s still sunny and warm.  Can’t seem to get enough of these days.  Thank you, Lord, for the sunshine, the warmth, and the good feelings that they produce inside of my spirit. 

Blessings, until next time.  Enjoy the weather, if you can.  For soon enough it will be winter in the Midwest.  I’ll just think warm thoughts until the Lord brings back Springtime and all the new growth — again.

30th High School Reunion

Okay.  Now that it’s over, I can breathe a sigh of relief.  I was pretty nervous as we were heading out to my high school reunion.  I wasn’t sure what to expect.  You see, I was a loner in school; a misfit.  Very insecure in how I looked and dressed, I was notorious for keeping my head hanging low.  Terrible bout of low self-esteem, I wondered how I’d fare.  But it went very well.  My former classmates were very sweet, and kind. 

It was especially good seeing Irene and Jean from school.  They were always good friends and lots of fun.  We reminisced about our ‘glory days’ and about missing other friends who could not make it.  I really like those ladies and they made me feel comfortable right off the bat.  Since I really didn’t know many of the other people there, my family and I left about a half hour after my friends left. 

This was the first reunion I’ve attended and I’m glad that I went.  Lots of food and drinks.  Good conversation.  Took a bunch of photos that I put on our reunion web site.  So I feel better now that I went.  I was afraid that I’d revert back to my old high school self and let me tell you that would be a scary thing.  

After I graduated high school I wanted to return to a reunion perhaps famous and rich, having published a book.  I wanted to return a ‘somebody’.  That never materialized but I am happy where I am at today.  I have a wonderful husband, two great sons, and a home that I love in a community I enjoy living in.  Now, being older and wiser, I don’t need to be a ‘somebody’ to my former classmates.  I am finally satisfied with who I am, even if it isn’t being famous or rich or even a published writer.  Yet. 

So thank you Hoffman Estates Class of 1981 for opening my eyes to accept who I really am.  Not a wallflower or a loner, but a fellow traveller on life’s path with all of its ups and downs, hills and valleys, and joys and sorrows.  We are in this together.  Thanks for the memories and helping me become the person that I am today, even if it was a rough four years.  But, looking back, I am thankful for who I am today and who I will continue to be for years to come.      

Contemplating

Life can be so confusing sometimes.  When you think that you have it all figured out, a piece of it somehow collapses beneath the weight of your feet.  Here it is almost 10 P.M.  Still early for many of you on a Friday night, but to me it’s late.  The rest of the family is asleep and here I am pretty much wide awake.  It could’ve been the coffee I had about an hour or so earlier, but I’m not sure.  Let me share something with you, I am the type of person who tries her best to see the good in people.  I’m not always successful at finding it, but I try my best.

I’m contemplating what to do with my life.  Yes.  I know.  I’m probably well passed the half-way point of my life but I am still searching for that ‘magic pill’, that ‘something’ that is making my brain itch.  Does that make any sense?

I still want to be able to enjoy my life and not feel as though I have completely wasted it.  I long to know if I made a difference in someone’s life.  I want to feel as though it mattered to this world that I existed.  I want to share the words buried inside of me.  To release it like air from a balloon and watch it bounce off the walls. 

I want to know that I have learned to truly love others as I should.  Not just because I ought to but because I choose to.  Life is too short and way too precious to just blow it off.  I don’t want to spend another day wasting it away by doing frivolous things.  I want to live a life of wonder and amazement at the sights around me, and I never want to take for granted the ability to have breath within me, and eyes to see God’s beauty around me, and ears to hear the voices of my loved ones calling. 

 I’m contemplating life and the awe-inspiring beauty of it.  Good night, dear ones.  Sweet dreams. 

(This was written in August and I just never got around to publishing it.)