Mom-isms

I say a lot of silly things sometimes.  Okay, a lot of times.  Sometimes my brain works better than my mouth.  I am thinking one thing, but somehow what pops out of my mouth is totally different from what I meant to say.  Reminds me of a childhood game I used to deplore playing at school and at slumber parties.  I think it was either called, ‘Operator’ or ‘Telephone’.  The first person starts with a line and whispers it to the person next to them, and so on down the line until the last person hears it and says outloud what the line was.  Usually it is so off course from the original line that it makes everyone roll around on the ground laughing hysterically.  Especially when you have a jokester who intentionally goofs it up.  And I, of course, almost always got the line mixed up.  I fret until it was my turn, dreading what was going to be said.  Oh, the terrors of grade school! 

Anyway, I’m getting off course again.  My family calls these ‘cute’ sayings, ‘Mom-isms’.  Most of them are just mispronunciations of familiar words.  For example:  ‘turnado’ for ‘tornado’.  I always seem to swear whenever I say the state where Boston is located in.  I think you know what that word might be. 

I was raised by two parents from Europe and think I ‘inherited’ a bit of their accent while growing up.  I get ridiculed by my wonderful family when I say the following words:  jogging, book, museum.  I think I sound just fine, but my family thinks it’s a hoot the way I say those words.  Oh well.

A real popular saying is, “A swing and a miss!”  Unfortunately for me, my husband and two sons caught me exchanging one of those words with another one that didn’t quit fit.  “Oh, it’s a hit and a miss!”  What???

Earlier this month, I gave my younger son some more fuel for the fire.  We were driving home from work and passing by our city’s lake and I noticed a police boat out on the water.  My son remarked that he didn’t know we had them out here on the lake, and of course I had to add my two-cents by saying,”Oh, they have to have police cops out there on the lake to protect people.”  What???  Okay, what I meant to say was ‘Police Boats’.

Years ago, while being passionate with my husband one morning, I was snuggling up to him, and stroking his chest.  Huskily I whispered, “Oh honey, you’ve got such a well deformed body!”  Oops!  What I meant to say is that he had a well formed body.  My poor husband’s ego took an unintentional hit. Talk abut killing the mood!

One time I smelled something really strong outside our car’s window while driving somewhere and I ask my husband if he smelled anything ‘pugnant.’  He smiled at me, shaking his head and said,”Don’t you mean something ‘pungent’?”  There I go again. 

I guess that’s why I enjoy writing so much more than I do speaking.  That way I don’t have has many chances of saying something silly that will haunt me for years to come.  I’m glad that I have such a good sense of humor and not so easily offended.  My family should be thankful too!  So the next time I do slip up and spout a new Mom-ism, I can already hear my younger son smiling, and shaking his head.  Hit and a miss, mom, he’ll say.  Hit and a miss!

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